As I walked from my van to the coffee shop, I thought about living forever and my eyes fell upon a tiny plant peeking up out of the asphalt and I felt such happiness for it. Odd connection? Maybe not.
The Joy of Eternal Being: When I remember this—when I remember to practice—at first I find myself focusing on the Joy part, but—realizing I’m not joyful by default and I’m not experiencing joy—I find that just shifting my focus to the Eternal part often instills joy automatically.
I’m Eternal. This isn’t a belief for me anymore. The research and the visions and the memories have convinced me. Much as Michelle recently posted, I see the Wayne-thing as just an object inside of me. The Wayne-thing will die, but me-as-the-Vastness (the container of the Wayne-thing) can’t. I know I’m eternal.
So when I focus on me-as-Eternal—when I focus on living forever—I feel the Joy automatically, simply because all of this—this experience of the moment—is so fleeting and temporary that it feels like it needs to be appreciated.
Now I’m not talking about “needs” as in I should do this, but needs as in this Moment is alive (that Everything-is-Alive archetype again) and it needs to be observed and appreciated in order to somehow live and thrive.
She is alive in this moment and is so very glad to be seen and recognized. Like a toddler smiling up at you, She loves being seen and recognized.
And who doesn’t feel Joy when a toddler smiles up at you?
Weird, I know.
Please don’t have me committed.
I sat in the van in the park and watched Her shining through the grass.
After posting the previous entry, I visited Dad in the rehab center, then grabbed a bite to eat in the mall. While walking through the mall, I again did the Joy of Eternal Being practice and I at once detached from the body and glided through the mall while simultaneously experiencing the mall (and all its occupants) inside of me.
It’s a paradox… and—because it lies beyond the mind—it is beautiful because of it.
In the mall, and at an outlet store later, I futilely shopped for some Hawaiian shirts. Even in Florida—in 83 degree, hot, sticky, and humid weather—I came up empty-handed.
So I surrendered and drove to the park and sat in the van and pulled away the me-contraction and watched as She lit up a field of grass from within.
I once told a psychologist friend of mine, Ellen Fox, that I think LSD acts to remove a built-in filtering mechanism that has evolved in our brains—a filter designed to make us self-aware, to create a survival instinct so that we don’t sit there ogling the wonderful colors of the grass while a saber-tooth tiger happily sniffs at our toes. I explained that I think that LSD doesn’t necessarily produce hallucinations as much as it reveals raw Truth (though some just aren’t ready to handle raw Truth, ergo the “bad trip”). I was surprised when Ellen agreed with me. This probably explains why LSD doesn’t affect me anymore, as the filter seems to get removed during the waking process (see Ram Dass on finding his guru).
God doesn’t lie in the mind… She lies beyond it.
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