The End (of this Journal)

The Tail End of Serenity

The Tail End of Serenity


June 30, 2015 9:33 AM

And so, with the purpose of this journal concluded (though not in a way I could have ever imagined) I’ll be signing off here and taking my blogging/journaling back to

I hope you’ve learned as much as I did. I hope you too have felt the magic. Thanks for coming along, and thanks for your loyalty.

Peace and Love, Mind and Heart, One and Two.

Be well,

— Wayne

Whatever Is Blocking Your Love

Seeking the Light

Seeking the Light

WOLF CREEK PASS, CO — #FourthWall #Remember #Technique

June 28, 2015 8:20 AM

Last week, while I was waiting for my hug at the Amma EventI spent a lot of time just sitting and observing: Observing the people as they interacted with one another (or didn’t); observing the volunteers as they set up the equipment and lubricated the Machine that fed the devotees up to the stage; observing Amma giving one hug after another after another; and, while the chanting was going on, observing the English translations on the big screen above the stage.

It’s the translations of the chanting that really struck me. Over and over the chanting was about Amma as a personification of the Divine. Many of the people attending—and certainly those doing the chanting—believe Amma to be God Incarnate.

This isn’t anything new in most Indian religions, gurus are often considered an incarnation of the Divine, but from my perspective it struck me as both ironical and profoundly sad. … Read more…

The Developing Sense Of “Me”

She Watches

She Watches

WOLF CREEK PASS, CO — #Intimate #MyLove

June 26, 2015 9:13 AM

Over the last week or so, there’s been a new “sense of me” gradually developing. As the Mystic’s Dilemma moves from my head into my heart, the inner-most layer of “me” is taking on a much softer, happier, loving quality. Indeed, when I’m not lost in thoughts or experiences, all I feel is Love (which leads to the happier, softer inner feeling). … Read more…

Enjoy Your Self

Gazing Toward The Lake

Gazing Toward The Lake

Heron Lake SP, NM — #MiracleLog #BATGAP #Remember

June 24, 2015 8:09 AM

“Enjoy yourself,” She whispered in my ear.

“Enjoy your capital-S Self,” I realized later.

I was concerned that when I met Amma, I’d have nothing to report. Though my intention was to open and expand into the Vastness while accepting Amma’s embrace, I wondered what I’d tell my readers if nothing happened.

But now, sitting in Serenity and gazing out over the lake, I realize I’m still in awe of how everything has worked out so perfectly, how everything I sought has miraculously appeared: … Read more…


God Incarnate

God Incarnate

CARSON NF, NM — #MyLove #Technique

June 22, 2015 7:18 AM

Softening. I’m not sure that’s the right word, but it’s the best I can think of at the moment. The swirl of energy that was trying to resolve the Mystic’s Dilemma has subsided with the realizations of the last couple of months—realizations that all magically came together with the Amma Incident.

In dealing with our (Shadow?), there’s something like an inner parent/child conflict going on. The Parent in us wants us to be a responsible adult and the Child in us wants us to be a carefree hedonist. These two “personalities” create a “swirl” of conflicting energy and desires (and a lot of self-hatred).

I’m no psychologist but the way I resolved this Parent/Child conflict (and it was very clunky at first), was basically to become a semi-responsible guy. Not a responsible adult. Not an adult child. Not an adult, not a child, but a guy. A fairly carefree yet still somewhat practical guy. Oddly enough, it turned out that I actually liked that guy.

As the Parent/Child conflict resolved, I became a hell of a lot happier. I became a hell of a lot “wholer.”

In a similar way, what has been happening recently—and is still happening—is that the Divine/Individual conflict (the Mystic’s Dilemma) is being resolved.Read more…

God Incarnate (and Amma)

Waiting For A Miracle

Waiting For A Miracle

ESPANOLA, NM — #Encounters #Intimate #MiracleLog #MyLove #Remember

June 20, 2015 5:09 PM

An absolutely amazing thing happened to me today. I went to see Amma.

But that’s not the amazing part.

This morning, I broke camp and put Leona Lewis’ I See You on repeat (as I often do when I want to drive in God) and headed down to see Amma. Normally I listen to this song as if I am singing the words to TaoGodHerbut this time, I imagined it as if it were TaoGodHer singing the words to me. Wonderful! Beautiful! Suddenly the boundaries between She and I became almost ethereal.

I don’t know if it was listening to the song in this new way, or the insight into the Mystic’s Dilemma I had earlier this week, or what it was, but something amazing happened six hours later. … Read more…

The Witness/Participant Cycle

Preparing For Flight

Preparing For Flight

LOS ALAMOS, NM — #FourthWall #Intimate #Journaling #LivingIt

June 19, 2015 7:13 AM

All personal growth seems to follow a pattern, a cycle between two states:

  • Witness (recognizing and learning something new)
  • Participant (integration and living the newly learned knowledge)

When I advise people to live as a Soul, what I am saying is:

  • Read up on all the evidence of the Soul (witness life as a Soul)
  • Live and act as if you live forever (participate in life as a Soul)

Same with Radiance, read up on the theory (witness it) then bring it to life (participant in it). Ditto Emptiness. … Read more…

The Need For The Me-Thing

A (No)Self Portrait

A (No)Self Portrait

LOS ALAMOS, NM — #Encounters #Emptiness

June 18, 2015 11:56 AM

When Jerry first contacted me to do a Skype call, I thought at first he was just going to pitch TM, but after he persisted with a follow up email and particularly his essay, I knew I had to talk to him.

Jerry has “been here a long time (39 years)”—and by “been here” I’m pretty sure he’s talking about at least the Cosmic Consciousness level of TM’s levels of consciousness (just on the other side of the Gateless Gate). 39 years is a long time, so I felt honored he wanted to talk.Read more…

The Mystic’s Dilemma

Last Night's Portrait of God

Last Night’s Portrait of God

NE OF THE NAVAJO NATION, NM— #Remember #Encounters #Intimate

June 17, 2015 7:06 AM

The Mystic’s Dilemma:

I know that everything is God. This means that I am a part of God. My mind knows this, but my heart feels separate from God because I love God (am separate from Him). My mind says, “Yes, I am God,” but my heart says, “No, I am separate from God.”

One of the reasons for starting this blog, The Mystic’s Journal, was to document my efforts and struggles with the oh-so-subtle self archetypes (self-concern, self-awareness, self-centeredness, …) which seem to be keeping me from completely merging with Her/God. … Read more…

Bumbling Along Blissfully

The Desert Blooms

The Desert Blooms

NE OF THE NAVAJO NATION, NM — #Intimate #VanDwelling

June 16, 2015 7:25 PM

Last night was only the second time that I’ve paid for a place to camp since I’ve lived in Serenity, but lakeside camping for only eight bucks? I’m not complaining.

In the morning, I filled my water cans, took a long hot shower, and drove off to find some breakfast and coffee. At Milan, I looked over the maps and possible routes and I heard Her whisper, “North.”  … Read more…