This morning, in a convenience store in Oklahoma, two employees—racists—were discussing the rioting in Ferguson, MO. They were filled with such vileness and hatred. Being white, apparently they expected me to feel the same way they did. Holding my tongue, I left in disgust.
I struggled with my anger during the long, lonely drive, determined to find a way through it… and then I did.
Instead of focusing on the details of the anger—the racists, my conflicting feelings about the rioting, my disenchantment with humanity in general—I focused on the archetype of Anger/Hatred. I saw it as a living force and that I was nurturing this force—feeding it—by focusing on the details (the racists, the riots, the apathy).
Once I saw Anger and Hatred as part of a much vaster archetype—as a living entity—it was much easier to stop feeding it.
As I drove, I looked out at the beauty and nature surrounding me and saw these things as an archetype also—the archetype of Life/Love.
And, while I drove, I chose to feed the Life/Love archetype—Her—instead.
And it was good.
I drove over 200 miles today—more than I like—while mostly focusing on the Love archetype/living thing mentioned above (though occasionally slipping into ignorance while being tailgated on the winding mountain roads, blotting out all the Beauty I was driving through).
I made camp in a free campground in western Arkansas. I’ve got the place all to myself and the mystery truck has already driven by, so I don’t expect to be disturbed for the rest of the evening. I had hoped to spend the Thanksgiving holiday in this forest (the Ouachita), but Dad was rushed to the hospital early yesterday morning having trouble breathing and Mom’s got my brother and I in a holding pattern until she knows more so I may not get my wish.
Surrender is not at all easy.
It’s been one of those clunky days.
Back to those archetypes mentioned above: It would be easy to think of them as two separate things—the religious might call them Good and Evil, or God and the Devil—but really they are just opposite ends of the same thread (a saying I’m fond of from Seeing Clearly). I’m starting to think of these opposing life forces as the conscious and unconscious sides of TaoGodHer.
The Love (selfless) archetype is God Herself moving through us (consciously), and the Hate (selfish me-me-me) archetype is Ego (God unconscious) moving through us. Kind of fits in with the Perennial philosophy (or maybe it’s Hinduism, I don’t know, this is a diary, not a book) where the story goes that God, bored out of His mind all by his lonesome self, created the Universe and everything in it and then made Himself forget that He was all the separate things also (conscious = unity, unconscious = separation).
Fits in with the Genesis story that Man has free will and God’s not going to mess with it (Man’s ego = God’s unconscious).
I’m in 100% agreement with both stories—I like the way it all fits together so nicely.
The less there is of me-me-me (God unconscious), the more there is of Her (God conscious).
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