March 4, 2015 2:07 PM
It started out with what I felt was an inspiring and perfect idea, “I think I’ll come back as Michelle’s son, then Michelle can re-teach me Mystical Oneness,” but because Mom doesn’t believe that we get to pick our next life, the conversation quickly spiraled out of control.
At the point where she was telling me how negative I’ve become and how disappointed in me she was that I’d lost hope in Mankind and when Dad told me that all I wanted to do was win, I knew I was doomed.
It’s not that I want to win (particularly when it comes to beliefs). All I really want is to be understood.
I don’t know why though. I don’t know why being understood feels so important.
Should I be inauthentic to make my life easier? Should I tell people what they want to hear just to be popular? Should I smile and glow and spew theories based simply on mind stuff and not real world experience?
Should I just walk away?
Sometimes I get so tired.
I know I’m holding on too tight to this—to being understood. More mind crap. When I dissolve into Her—as I just did a few moments ago—She smiles and nods and knows I’ll learn my lesson eventually.
Hah! Is it any wonder spiritual teachers don’t blog about their personal lives?
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