The Challenges of Living It

Door and Fence

Door and Fence


March 22, 2015 7:59 AM

Last night, I perused some of the Buddha at the Gas Pump interviews. In one, Rick mentions how most teachers are descriptive rather than prescriptive (theory versus application).

Synchronistically (of course), the following appeared in my news feed this morning:

All the time we spend inventing reasons is probably better spent responding to what occurs.
Seth Godin

So much of what nondual teachers utter is theoretical (“inventing reasons”). I hope I don’t come across that way.

Granted, I’m full of theories, but I hope this diary provides transparent, real world examples of something far more important—far more practicalThe challenges of living in harmony with your spiritual beliefs (“responding to what occurs”).

The Transparent Fool

An Empty Chair In A Room Without Walls

An Empty Chair In A Room Without Walls

KEY WEST, FL — #VanDwelling #Journaling #Emptiness #BATGAP

March 17, 2015 8:09 PM

I rolled over and watched the sunrise out my window as a fishing boat left the channel and headed out onto the calm, open sea. The air was still and moist and a few tourists wandered by my rig, unaware they were being observed through the dark limo-tinted glass that serves as my permanent privacy shades.

On impulse, I checked the battery monitor and was surprised to see my battery bank was far lower than I expected—62%—and my mind rattled off some possibilities: Has it been overcast lately? Have I been parked too much in the shade? Is one solar panel not working? Does running the fan all night cost too many amps? Ultimately, I blamed the battery drain on my near empty refrigerator running too much: too hot, too humid and too much empty space in there. I couldn’t do anything about the weather, but the empty space problem was solved by filling it with much denser-than-air ice and cold beer.

By late afternoon, I found myself in Key West on St. Patrick’s Day, but, not feeling up to the drunken crowed experience that would be Duval Street, I opted to park along the water and watch the sunset in relative peace and quiet (as quiet as you can get parked next to A1A).

Irene from BATGP contacted me today and it looks like a May interview is on. I spent an hour going through the prior interviewees on the site, looking to see if any kept a personal blog, but couldn’t find a one. Their “blogs” are really just articles—extensions of their teachings—but I didn’t find a single online diary.

Looking over their sites, it’s a bit intimidating. They all glow so brightly and seem so serene and sure of themselves. Don’t they experience doubts? Don’t they ever fail? Don’t they get confused, or slip, or contract into their Mortal shells? In comparison, I’m just some fool who struggles to surrender to the Divine.

As I sit here typing this, the sun has set and night has descended and, like this morning, the air is still and the sea is calm. Though not cool, the temperature is pleasant enough and, ironically, the cars that roar by the driver’s side window generate a nice cross breeze. I smile in gratitude at this unexpected gift as I open and expand and feel One with everything… while Everything arises inside of me.

Did I Mention It’s Hot?

Key Largo Paddle Boarders

Key Largo Paddle Boarders


March 16, 2015 11:11 AM

After spending some time with my brother, his kids and various friends of the family, I bid my farewells, hopped in the van and headed south.

It’s already hot in South Florida, and I spent the night camped at a casino on the edge of the Everglades, the fan blasting on high the entire night.

I stopped in Florida City for breakfast and took a seat by the window just as a man stepped out of one of the new Dodge ProMaster vans. A number of full-time nomads I know have considered this van as their next home, so I asked the driver how he liked it.

“Don’t get one, pal. They suck.”

His was a year newer than mine, but he apparently has had nothing but trouble—trouble compounded by a limited number of dealers who can work on them, and none of which he was happy with. We swapped stories for awhile, and, as I left, he commented that, on hearing how much I liked mine, he might trade his in for a Nissan soon.

As I left, I contemplated my next stop. With a Skype evaluation appointment scheduled for noon with Jerry, the technical guy at Buddha at the Gas Pump, I wasn’t sure if I should risk heading down to the Keys and not finding a good signal. Since I don’t like to try—to fight circumstances—I asked myself, if I didn’t have this appointment, what would I do? So I drove to the Keys, taking the longer Card Sound route.

I found a decent 4G signal in a park where I used to spend time in as a teen. It was too early for the video chat, so I strolled about to see what had changed over the years, took some photos and now await a call that will determine if a BATGP interview lies in my destiny.

2:02 PM

The Skype test seemed to go well, and Jerry said he’d pass along the results, so I closed the laptop and went for a swim. Did I mention it’s getting hot down here already?

A little while later, the sun shining down brutally, I picked up a touristy “Key Largo” baseball cap and dropped into Mrs. Mac’s for their famous taco salad platter (Fritos smothered in chili) and a cold, local IPA.

In Key Largo—within a mile of each other—there are two Mrs. Mac’s. When I lived there, there was only one, and this is the one I dined at. It’s a tiny place, and in order to work there (or to use their restroom for that matter), you pretty much have to be a contortionist, so as I ate, I grinned while watching the one waitress bend to get ice while another reached over her to get tea while another tried to squeeze behind them with a tray filled with fish and chips and burgers and drinks.

My server told me he graduated Coral Shores in ’13 and I smiled and said I graduated there in ’79 and asked him which Mrs. Mac’s he would visit in 30 or 40 years on his reminiscent tour of the Keys and he told me both, as he had worked at both and loved them equally. I explained how much more crowded the Keys had become since I lived there years ago and wondered aloud how things would appear to him when he did his own personal tour.

He looked a little sad at that thought.

Nothing is permanent. Everything changes. Life itself is flux—a dynamic flowing Living Unified Thing. It’s futile to fight it, to struggle to control it, to try to fit it into a neat little box.

Life is much bigger than we can possibly grasp, so it seems to me it’s best just to surrender and flow and enjoy it.

I drove off, trying to remember if there was any public shade to be found on this long thin island in the Gulf, a place a weary drifter could take a nap in peace and comfort (did I mention it is hot down here?).

Back On The Road

Peace and Joy in Pahokee

Peace and Joy in Pahokee

The Everglades, FL — #VanDwelling #Surrender #BATGAP

March 13, 2015 4:49 PM

I made camp next to a quiet canal on the edge of the Everglades, a camp I had found perusing Google Maps. The wind, which had buffeted the rig all day, now provided a welcome breeze which cooled the van and rid it of the three flies I had picked up somewhere along the way—maybe in Pahokee, or Taylor Creek, or that miserable intersection at Yeehaw Junction.

Flowing non-attachment. This is how I choose to live life. Sometimes I slip, naturally, but mostly I just roll with it.

Anyone can say, “Surrender to what is,” but if you aren’t willing to live it, then you’re just fooling yourself—and far more importantly, your fooling others.

Below is the full email exchange with Irene of Buddha at the Gas Pump (email addresses and full names redacted):

Contact Form Submitted

Name:  Irene


Comment: Would you like to set up an interview in May? Dates open as of now are May 16 or 23

Hi Irene,

I’d be happy to do an interview. Either date is fine.

Please note though, that I’m a full-time nomad. I live in a van and drift around the country rather aimlessly. I never know where I’ll be next week. I get online via Verizon’s 4G network on a MiFi device, but have never done a video chat using it. I’ll try to test it out with a friend, but do you allow phone-in interviews also? I do a lot of photography too (ie: ), so you could do a slide show of my images if the video doesn’t work. 🙂

Wayne (Wirs)

Hi Wayne

It sounds like the technical set up would be very difficult and we do video only over Skype. So unless you could find a location where you could use someone’s wired internet connection than I don’t think it will work.

Thanks for considering it!

Buddha at the Gas Pump

Hi Irene,

I haven’t had the chance to test Skype over 4G, but it sounds like you’re opting out. After what some of my readers were saying about the idea ( ) I was starting to get a little psyched! (I’m all about transparency, so much so that I keep an online personal journal).

Just so you know, besides all my other odd quirks (About Me), I believe I am the only person who was keeping a personal, online blog before, during, and after his awakening. The whole process can be stepped through here – – and all started when I tried to out-meditate a frog in a brook on Mt. Hood in Oregon.

Still, if the interview sounds like more trouble than it’s worth, don’t sweat it. I’m all about flowing with Life, not manipulating it, so I’m good either way.

Be well,

Wayne (Wirs)

Buddha at the Gas Pump?

My Former Cavernous Home

My Former Cavernous Home

MELBOURNE, FL — #Writing #MiracleLog #BATGAP

March 12, 2015 3:46 PM

I received a very short email yesterday:

Would you like to set up an interview in May? Dates open as of now are May 16 or 23

I wonder how they found me? I’ve never contacted them before.

I’m a little conflicted about this. On the one hand, Buddha at the Gas Pump is pretty big in the nondual world.

On the other, I never listen to nondual teacher interviews since I find them pretty boring (You’re everything. You’re nothing. You’re everything. You’re nothing…).

Add to that, I’ve never done a video call over the MiFi device (the 4g hotspot I use to get online) so I don’t know if I can even do a video interview. I guess if it’s too slow for video, I could call in.

On another note, sort of, I’ve been thinking a lot about that teaching versus sharing perspective. Marc Gilson of Mind Chatter Magazine once said, “[Wayne] is not a guru or a teacher. He is an explorer, a field man more than an academic.” That was back in the 2005. Seems my nature hasn’t changed that much, so the more I think about it, the more the sharing attitude feels right.

Which means I’ll need to re-do the tone of the book-in-progress.