The Witness/Participant Cycle

Preparing For Flight

Preparing For Flight

LOS ALAMOS, NM — #FourthWall #Intimate #Journaling #LivingIt

June 19, 2015 7:13 AM

All personal growth seems to follow a pattern, a cycle between two states:

  • Witness (recognizing and learning something new)
  • Participant (integration and living the newly learned knowledge)

When I advise people to live as a Soul, what I am saying is:

  • Read up on all the evidence of the Soul (witness life as a Soul)
  • Live and act as if you live forever (participate in life as a Soul)

Same with Radiance, read up on the theory (witness it) then bring it to life (participant in it). Ditto Emptiness. … Read more…


The Sentinel of the Bardo Plain

The Sentinel of the Bardo Plain


April 16, 2015 8:08 AM

My buddy Glenn Morrissette seems to be having a bit of an online existential crisis. He’s feeling the need for a clean slate—maybe a new message—but in trying to address his readers’ concerns, he’s finding it difficult to actually impliment it.

Obviously long-time readers know how I dealt with this change of focus: I just created a new blog.

But what exactly changed so much as to deserve the online equivalent of the nuclear option: the change of a domain name? … Read more…

The Transparent Fool

An Empty Chair In A Room Without Walls

An Empty Chair In A Room Without Walls

KEY WEST, FL — #VanDwelling #Journaling #Emptiness #BATGAP

March 17, 2015 8:09 PM

I rolled over and watched the sunrise out my window as a fishing boat left the channel and headed out onto the calm, open sea. The air was still and moist and a few tourists wandered by my rig, unaware they were being observed through the dark limo-tinted glass that serves as my permanent privacy shades.

On impulse, I checked the battery monitor and was surprised to see my battery bank was far lower than I expected—62%—and my mind rattled off some possibilities: Has it been overcast lately? Have I been parked too much in the shade? Is one solar panel not working? Does running the fan all night cost too many amps? Ultimately, I blamed the battery drain on my near empty refrigerator running too much: too hot, too humid and too much empty space in there. I couldn’t do anything about the weather, but the empty space problem was solved by filling it with much denser-than-air ice and cold beer.

By late afternoon, I found myself in Key West on St. Patrick’s Day, but, not feeling up to the drunken crowed experience that would be Duval Street, I opted to park along the water and watch the sunset in relative peace and quiet (as quiet as you can get parked next to A1A).

Irene from BATGP contacted me today and it looks like a May interview is on. I spent an hour going through the prior interviewees on the site, looking to see if any kept a personal blog, but couldn’t find a one. Their “blogs” are really just articles—extensions of their teachings—but I didn’t find a single online diary.

Looking over their sites, it’s a bit intimidating. They all glow so brightly and seem so serene and sure of themselves. Don’t they experience doubts? Don’t they ever fail? Don’t they get confused, or slip, or contract into their Mortal shells? In comparison, I’m just some fool who struggles to surrender to the Divine.

As I sit here typing this, the sun has set and night has descended and, like this morning, the air is still and the sea is calm. Though not cool, the temperature is pleasant enough and, ironically, the cars that roar by the driver’s side window generate a nice cross breeze. I smile in gratitude at this unexpected gift as I open and expand and feel One with everything… while Everything arises inside of me.


Ducks Askew

Ducks Askew

MELBOURNE, FL — #Journaling #Writing

March 11, 2015 12:50 PM

In the morning, the windshields of the cars are coated with dew, the cool glass condensing the thick moisture straight out of the heavy air. With the humidity so high, the mornings are often more uncomfortable than the afternoons as the water vapor rises from the ground, soaking your clothes… sort of like rain in reverse.

As I put on my shark’s tooth necklace, given to me by my mother, I thought of my father’s much larger necklace and thought of how he should give it to my older brother Jeff. Jeff then, as his time neared, could pass it onto his son, Michael. A legacy through the generations.

Following this train of thought, I wondered if I’m subconsciously writing the Mystical Oneness book as some form of posterity—as a way to be remembered after I’m gone.

Why am I writing it? For money? For posterity? For hope?

Dave told me the other day that I shouldn’t think of holding talks as teaching, but as sharing. That’s an excellent perspective: To think of this blog and the book as sharing.

Why sharing? Because sharing is intimate and transparent and personal. Like relating. As in relationship.

I’m writing the book (and this blog) because I want others to experience the relationship I have—the relationship all Mystic’s have—the intimate commingling with the Divine.

The book’s not for posterity. It’s for love.


End of NonAbusers

End of NonAbusers

MELBOURNE, FL#Journaling #Surrender

January 19, 2015 9:07 AM

I closed a few moments ago due to a lack of public interest. It’s a shame it didn’t take off, but I received a lot from the experience.

It was my attachment to NonAbusers success that instigated the creation of this journal and my current spiritual focus (the surrender of self interest and concern). In the short time I’ve been journaling here—in focusing on these issues—I’ve noticed a dramatic softening of my… center, so I’m grateful for that.

She works in mysterious ways.


12/30/2014: Blog to Ebook Decisions

Retail Overload

Retail Overload

MELBOURNE, FL — #Writing #Journaling 

9:41 AM

I’m working on the various tasks needed to create an ebook of this journal. The plan is to consolidate and create an ebook for the previous month’s entries every month. At the end of next year (assuming I’m still doing this), I’ll consolidate all of 2015’s entries into a single collection. This being the first “month” (I’m including the partial November 2014 in this volume) there are a lot of tasks and decisions and unknowns involved…

  • Do I use the same cover image each month and just change the dates? (ie: A Mystic’s Journal: November 2014 – December 2014 )
  • Do I include the Introduction and About Me every month?
  • How much do I sell them for?
  • Do I sell them just on Amazon, or on the other providers also?
  • Do I create a printed version?

I have a couple reasons for creating these ebooks:

  • Ebooks are much easier to digest a large amount of content than websites are
  • Ebooks allow readers to highlight the text and add personal notes. This is particularly useful for spiritual seekers (example 1example 2).
  • Ebooks can be read at leisure
  • Ebooks are portable
  • Retailers help expose my work to new readers
  • When I die, the websites may die with me. The ebooks won’t.

Ultimately, I want this to be as painless a process as possible. I’m far more interested in creating content than I am in creating products. So with that in mind, I think a lot of the above decisions will be easier to make.

10:07 AM

Well that was easy. My decisions:

  • Cover: Use the same cover image for an entire year’s worth of ebooks, and just change the date. Not only does this save time and effort, it makes it immediately apparent which monthly ebooks belong to which year’s series.
  • Re-use the same Introduction and About Me (and any other front matter). By keeping these in a separate group/folder in Ulysses, they will be easy to insert into each ebook.
  • Sell them for about $1 if possible (need to research Amazon’s restrictions). I’m more interested in getting them out there than making money off them.
  • Sell the monthly versions only on Amazon. If/when I create yearly versions (12 ebooks consolidated into one), then I can sell those on B&N’s Nook and Apple’s iBooks.
  • Printed versions? Probably makes sense to wait for the yearly version as the price will need to be much higher and the complexity is much greater. Use Amazon’s CreateSpace (print on demand service) for this.

4:27 PM

I picked up six Hawaiian shirts for 18 bucks at the local Goodwill. Perfect condition too. Six for about half the price of a single shirt from a typical retail store—and supporting a good cause to boot. I figure if I’m going to be forced to wear a burka, I might as well embrace my Conch (Florida Keys) heritage.

12/24/2014: The Enlightened Jesus

Ornaments Up Close

Ornaments Up Close

MELBOURNE, FL — #FourthWall #Journaling #LivingIt #MyLove #Soul #Radiance #Emptiness #Surrender

10:38 AM

[Addressing the Fourth Wall]:

One of the reasons I so love ebooks is the ability to highlight text and easily find and read those passages later.

In the spirit of Christmas, here are a few (only a small portion) of the text I highlighted from Resurrecting Jesus.

Note: On some of the passages, I highlighted them in order to remind me of lessons and practices, while others I highlighted because they reflected my personal experiences with awakening and kind of surprised me, ie: the “download” of information, the trials and tribulations, the radiance, the engagement (bringing it to life), the relinquishment (what I’m going through now), ….

…Jesus the revolutionary mystic, the one who is actually courageous enough to move through life guided and inspired by the dynamic of his spiritual essence.

Spiritual autonomy is knowing who and what you are—knowing that you are divine being itself, knowing that the essence of you is divinity. You are moving in the world of time and space, appearing as a human being, but nonetheless you are eternal, divine being, the timeless breaking through and operating within the world of time. To Jesus, spirit is everything.

He is the living presence of divine being. He’s a human being too, but he’s here to convey divine being…

…awakening people to eternal life, to discovering divine being within themselves.

…he wanted to break down the lines of separation between people, between heaven and earth, between human and divine.

So the whole Jesus story, ultimately, is the map of a journey that happens within us. It’s an invitation to live out the radiance that’s revealed when we have the courage to step beyond anything and everything that separates us.

Life is this simple: we are living in a world that is absolutely transparent and the divine is shining through it all the time. This is not just a nice story or a fable, it is true. — THOMAS MERTON

My own spiritual development has shown me that we’re all, in essence, the divine radiance of pure being and that we also have our human side: our good days and our not-so-good days. Our human condition is reflected in the great humanity of Jesus, and I believe this is one of the reasons that so many people have felt so deeply connected to Jesus over the centuries.

…but the beauty of the story is in how it reveals that sense of eternity, that still point in the midst of difficulty, that divinity shining through the latticework of time and space.

Jesus is saying that the Kingdom of Heaven is right here, in the place where he’s undergoing his trials, and men do not see it. The beauty of the Jesus story is that he did see eternity while here on this earth; he was eternity, divine being at his core and in his substance.

…each of us can touch upon that intuition that there’s something about us that is unchanged. Throughout all of the ups and downs and changes of life, something is now as it ever was. To touch upon this is to begin to experience eternity within.

That sense of something unchanged is the eternal spark within.

From that state of voidness, after a while a download of insight began—literally hundreds of insights per second downloaded into my system. Just as you download a program on your computer, spirit or divine being was downloading insights into me, many more than I could actually keep up with. This descent of spirit was just as depicted in the Jesus story.

There are many degrees of awakening, but all awakening has as its common denominator a shift from seeing ourselves as a separated, isolated human being to seeing ourselves as that which we all share. You can call it consciousness, divine being, spirit, God. Many words can be used, but it’s the experience that matters.

At some point after awakening—sometimes very soon, sometimes not for quite a while—you reach a stage that I call “trials and tribulations.”

It’s almost as if life says, in order to deal with this situation properly, you are going to have to respond to it from that place of realization, from your deepest nature to which you’ve awakened. If you go back into your ego or into your conditioned mind to respond, it simply won’t work, and turmoil will ensue.

This is an amazing teaching, and it’s message is: if you meet your trials and tribulations from your own deepest realization, they will be released from your system and purified from you, so that eternal being can fully be embodied through your humanity.

When this unification occurs, there’s a simplicity to life, a deep sense of freedom and essential well-being and also of fearlessness.

Where there was abiding tranquility, what awakens now is sense of an extraordinary vitality, of life-force. It’s as if the fullness of your being is radiating, and from the tips of your toes to the top of your head, you feel this very deep and powerful radiance.

…and then you’re infused with this impersonal vitality and radiance, very often it signals that there’s something more in store. There will be another phase of your life, a phase not just of abiding tranquility, but also of radiant engagement.

When transfiguration occurs, we begin to move with what I call “spiritual autonomy.” By spiritual autonomy, I mean a kind of certainty—not an egoic certainty, but one that comes from your essential nature, from the level of divine being. We find this spiritual autonomy very clearly mirrored in the figure of Jesus. Jesus walks through his life knowing who he is and what he’s doing, even though his disciples don’t understand him, the authorities don’t understand him, and the Pharisees don’t understand him.

The next stage of the awakening journey is what I call “relinquishment.” In the story of Jesus, relinquishment is symbolized by the crucifixion. Ultimately, relinquishment is the experience of the death of ego. Awakening is the transcendence of ego; awakening doesn’t mean the ego is dead or even that it’s really gone anywhere. The awakening experience may change the nature of ego, making it more unified, more whole, but the ego is still there. Relinquishment is what spiritual teachers mean when they say, “die before you die.”

The kingdom of heaven is spread upon earth and men do not see it. When you see this, you shift from being a victim of your life and assigning blame for the tragedy you encounter. The truth, I would suggest, is that you poured yourself willingly into form out of infinite love in order to redeem the entirety of this life. When seen from that perspective, all of a sudden life looks very different. You stop holding back from life, your inner life or the life around you, because the kingdom of heaven is within and all around you. That’s the message of the Jesus story.

Merry Christmas everyone. Thanks for following along on this journey.

12/23/2014: Mental Conditioning and Near Death Experiences

A Foggy Morning Outside My Home

A Foggy Morning Outside My Home

MELBOURNE, FL — #Death #Emptiness #Journaling #Soul

6:54 AM

I awoke and gazed out the window to a foggy morning. I was content (as I expect most people are on first awakening) and before my mind could kick in, I searched the present moment: The softness of the sheets; The cool air on my exposed skin; The street light illuminating the fog; The stiffness of muscles idle too long.

Soon though, my mind kicked in with questions of the future: Where should I go today? What should I do? Where will I eat?

And the Present was lost.

8:37 AM

I’ve read that as we age—as we adopt habitual thinking patterns—physical grooves form in the brain as a result of those thinking habits.

Our thought patterns are physically etched into our brain.

No wonder it is so hard to change our thought processes—to change:

I wish the famous enlightened teachers blogged about their personal lives and thoughts. I’m sure it would help dispel the mythologies of instant enlightenment, abiding nondual awareness, and permanent bliss.

Spiritual transparency doesn’t sell very well, but it would be a huge benefit for serious spiritual seekers.

9:03 AM

Last night, Mom was telling me of how my cousin Donna had died recently and had been revived. I asked if Donna had any recollection of the experience, but she did not.

I was then hit with this powerful insight:

If only a few people experience near death experiences (NDEs), then this evidence discredits pretty much all scientific explanations which state that the experience of a tunnel and light is just the results of chemical reactions in a dying brain.


Why? Basic scientific method: A theory must be supported by repeatable scientific experiments that produce consistent results.

If everyone who died and was revived saw the light and the tunnel, then that would support the “chemical reactions” theory—but everyone doesn’t experience these visions.

My father died and didn’t experience anything. Donna (above) died and didn’t experience anything. But, and this is even better evidence, a guy I met in New Mexico a couple years ago told me he had died twice (and was revived obviously). I asked him if he experienced anything during those episodes and after pushing through his hesitancy, he said on the first one he did not, but on the second one he did.

My theory (and this is supported by a huge collection of evidence) is that when we die, we-as-a-Soul detach from these bodies—but it is a mistake to assume that this detachment happens right away (as in the case of people who don’t experience any “visions”). The “Soul-detachment” may happen later. According to some Tibetan death rituals, it could be days later. (From the above article: “A person can remain in this state of lucid vacuity for up to three days”.)

My point: If NDEs were the result of chemical reactions in the brain as a result of a lack of oxygen (as is the case of almost all death/revivals), then everyone should experience the visions. The experiment must be repeatable and produce consistent results, and in the case of these scientific “explanations,” the results are not consistent, ergo their theory is flawed.

I may be a mystic, but I’m a rational one.

Note: Here’s an article that states that NDEs are a result of neural chemical reactions in the dying brain. This is the key sentence:

The team found several signs of conscious activity in all nine of the dying rats’ brains.

All nine of the rats produced the same results. All of them. That’s sound scientific evidence—but further up in the article it says:

In fact, some estimates say that almost 20 percent of people who survive cardiac arrest — where blood effectively stops flowing and the brain becomes starved of the oxygen it needs — report such near-death experiences.

Only 20% of people who had these types of deaths (simulated in the rat experiment) experienced NDEs.

That is not consistent with the results of the experiment. According to their theory, everyone should experience NDEs since all of the rats had these neural chemical reactions. This means that for people, it shouldn’t be just the 20% who do experience the visions, but also the other 80% who don’t.

This scientific “explanation” does not match the real-world data (and I know of no experiments that do).