Is SHE Participating In This?

Two Trees Most Distant

Two Trees Most Distant

A PULL-OFF OUTSIDE OF HUTCHINSON, KS — #LivingIt #VanDwelling #Surrender

April 13, 2015 11:16 AM

I said my goodbyes to Michelle yesterday and drove off. As I drove, for the first time in my nomadic life I felt lonely. I have often felt alone—cherishing the solitude—but never lonely.

It’s so rare to find someone who understands you. It’s even rarer when you’re a Mystic. As I said goodbye, I hoped I’d see Michelle again someday. But the truth is I simply don’t know.

… … Read more…

When I Try, I Fail

De Soto Falls (Revisited?)

De Soto Falls (Revisited?)

TN-AL BORDER — #VanDwelling #Surrender

April 1, 2015 3:39 PM

Why am I looking for water? I don’t need any. I’ve got a good 8-9 gallons left. And yet it’s on my mind: Fill my water containers. Does this gas station have water? Does this park?

Of course, in my quest to find drinking water, everywhere I looked I failed. I was trying to find drinking water, so of course I couldn’t actually find any.

I’ve got a third jerry can filled and stored under the bed, I’m just too lazy to pull it out. It’s easier to fill the two that I keep by the back doors than to dig out that one…

Damn it, now I have to go dig out that one because I’m thinking the same thing you’re thinking: That the third jug is empty.

In Resurrecting Jesus, Adyashanti mentions how, after the spiritual seeker wakes up, they are often confronted with a series of trials—trials they will fail if they continue to act from their old self—their personal self—rather than from their newly awakened “Eternal-I” Self.

I don’t think the Trials ever go away. Fear sucks and is stupid and is no way to go about living life—and the Trials act as an excellent reminder of this. You try… you fail.

Water will appear when I need it. It always does.

Same with camps—with finding a place to sleep. Even though I still put more thought into the “Where will I sleep tonight?” question than I’d like, I’ve always found a place to sleep. Take today for instance…

After lunch, I said my goodbye’s to Doug and Dakota, hopped in the van and headed northward. Not finding water in two places that my mind was sure would have water, I said, “Screw it, maybe they don’t have free drinking water in Alabama,” and took that as a sign to head to Tennessee. Which I did.

And along the way, right near the road, I found this pleasant little open spot in the woods without even trying.

When I try, I fail.

Eventually, me-of-little-faith, I’ll learn that lesson.

Two Birthdays

Two Horses of a Different Color

Two Horses of a Different Color

TUSKEGEE NF, AL — #LivingIt #Surrender #FourthWall #BATGAP

March 28, 2015 2:28 PM

Today marks both my mother’s and St. Teresa of Avila’s birthdays. Though my Mom’s a little younger, St. Teresa would be 500 years old today. Happy birthday Mom.

St. Teresa, like the great Mystics Meister Eckhart and St. John of the Crosssought to dissolve herself into the Divine—to achieve a mystical union with God through the surrender of the Self.

I don’t care how enlightened anyone claims to be, the subtle self archetypes (self-concern, self-interest, self-will) are a bear to let go of in the real world, so St. Teresa rates way up on my list of personal heroes in her quest to do so.

In filling out some of the BATGAP forms, one of the questions was which of these categories I’d like to be listed under, with the option of suggesting new ones. Along with some existing ones, I suggested two new categories: Mystics, and Applied Spiritual (versus the existing Academic Spiritual). Mystics is obvious, but I suggested Applied Spiritual because it is only in applying spiritual teachings—to living them—that any serious growth occurs.

Self-concern. Self-interest. Self-will. Recognizing these archetypes is easy (academic). Dropping them (applied)? Not so much. Paradoxically though, there are some serious rewards in store for those who do:

The less there is of you, the more there is of TaoGodHer.

US 1

2pm Traffic in Downtown Miami

2pm Traffic in Downtown Miami

VERO BEACH, FL — #VanDwelling #Surrender

March 20, 2015 1:19 PM

For the most part, I’ve been following US 1 northward toward my folks place in Melbourne. A lot of South Florida—particularly the “renovated” sections (read: homogenized) looks pretty much like every other place in South Florida.

US 1 is the exception though. From skyscrapers to clapboard houses, it probably has the most character of any South Florida road.

Lots of traffic though. Too much for my taste. When stuck in traffic, it’s easy for frustration to grab ahold, so I try to keep my attention on the Present Moment and use my eyes like the lens of a camera—taking mental photos while the horns blare and tempers rise.


Different Colors. Same Function.

Different Colors. Same Function.

BOYNTON BEACH, FL — #Encounters #LivingIt #Surrender

March 19, 2015 6:40 PM

I dropped in at a business complex where I thought Timmerman, a friend since childhood, was working, only to find he was no longer employed there. I dropped in instead of calling because, let’s face it, the unexpected is much more exciting—much more memorable.

Jim—a programmer who had worked there at the same tedious job for at least 15 years—said, “Timmerman quit, I don’t know, maybe a few months ago?”

When I finally caught up with Timmerman for lunch, it turned out he had quit three years ago (not “a few months”).

Monotony kills you in many ways, but the worst is that it steals time. It steals your very life.

Neil Young said it best:

It’s better to burn out than to fade away.

Since we hadn’t gotten together for over ten years, much had changed in both our lives. Timmerman is now a devote Christian, though he adamantly rejects the concept of “being religious.” He explained that religions are all about rules and rules push us away from God, not bring us closer to Him.

When I explained my theory of deep beliefshow evidence is required to alleviate the doubting subconscious—he explained that he too found God via the evidence route (study of comparative religions, deep analysis of the Bible, back and forth dialog with Christian experts, …).

He also told me that, as he surrendered more to God, his life got much easier, almost magically so. This, of course, supports something I’ve been saying for years:

The less there is of you, the more there is of Her.

After all these years, it was great to see Timmerman again and I was surprised—even grateful—at how much we were in agreement on our beliefs. Who would have thought? A devote Christian and a nondual Mystic agreeing on practically everything.

Let’s face it, the unexpected is much more exciting—much more memorable.

Did I Mention It’s Hot?

Key Largo Paddle Boarders

Key Largo Paddle Boarders


March 16, 2015 11:11 AM

After spending some time with my brother, his kids and various friends of the family, I bid my farewells, hopped in the van and headed south.

It’s already hot in South Florida, and I spent the night camped at a casino on the edge of the Everglades, the fan blasting on high the entire night.

I stopped in Florida City for breakfast and took a seat by the window just as a man stepped out of one of the new Dodge ProMaster vans. A number of full-time nomads I know have considered this van as their next home, so I asked the driver how he liked it.

“Don’t get one, pal. They suck.”

His was a year newer than mine, but he apparently has had nothing but trouble—trouble compounded by a limited number of dealers who can work on them, and none of which he was happy with. We swapped stories for awhile, and, as I left, he commented that, on hearing how much I liked mine, he might trade his in for a Nissan soon.

As I left, I contemplated my next stop. With a Skype evaluation appointment scheduled for noon with Jerry, the technical guy at Buddha at the Gas Pump, I wasn’t sure if I should risk heading down to the Keys and not finding a good signal. Since I don’t like to try—to fight circumstances—I asked myself, if I didn’t have this appointment, what would I do? So I drove to the Keys, taking the longer Card Sound route.

I found a decent 4G signal in a park where I used to spend time in as a teen. It was too early for the video chat, so I strolled about to see what had changed over the years, took some photos and now await a call that will determine if a BATGP interview lies in my destiny.

2:02 PM

The Skype test seemed to go well, and Jerry said he’d pass along the results, so I closed the laptop and went for a swim. Did I mention it’s getting hot down here already?

A little while later, the sun shining down brutally, I picked up a touristy “Key Largo” baseball cap and dropped into Mrs. Mac’s for their famous taco salad platter (Fritos smothered in chili) and a cold, local IPA.

In Key Largo—within a mile of each other—there are two Mrs. Mac’s. When I lived there, there was only one, and this is the one I dined at. It’s a tiny place, and in order to work there (or to use their restroom for that matter), you pretty much have to be a contortionist, so as I ate, I grinned while watching the one waitress bend to get ice while another reached over her to get tea while another tried to squeeze behind them with a tray filled with fish and chips and burgers and drinks.

My server told me he graduated Coral Shores in ’13 and I smiled and said I graduated there in ’79 and asked him which Mrs. Mac’s he would visit in 30 or 40 years on his reminiscent tour of the Keys and he told me both, as he had worked at both and loved them equally. I explained how much more crowded the Keys had become since I lived there years ago and wondered aloud how things would appear to him when he did his own personal tour.

He looked a little sad at that thought.

Nothing is permanent. Everything changes. Life itself is flux—a dynamic flowing Living Unified Thing. It’s futile to fight it, to struggle to control it, to try to fit it into a neat little box.

Life is much bigger than we can possibly grasp, so it seems to me it’s best just to surrender and flow and enjoy it.

I drove off, trying to remember if there was any public shade to be found on this long thin island in the Gulf, a place a weary drifter could take a nap in peace and comfort (did I mention it is hot down here?).

Back On The Road

Peace and Joy in Pahokee

Peace and Joy in Pahokee

The Everglades, FL — #VanDwelling #Surrender #BATGAP

March 13, 2015 4:49 PM

I made camp next to a quiet canal on the edge of the Everglades, a camp I had found perusing Google Maps. The wind, which had buffeted the rig all day, now provided a welcome breeze which cooled the van and rid it of the three flies I had picked up somewhere along the way—maybe in Pahokee, or Taylor Creek, or that miserable intersection at Yeehaw Junction.

Flowing non-attachment. This is how I choose to live life. Sometimes I slip, naturally, but mostly I just roll with it.

Anyone can say, “Surrender to what is,” but if you aren’t willing to live it, then you’re just fooling yourself—and far more importantly, your fooling others.

Below is the full email exchange with Irene of Buddha at the Gas Pump (email addresses and full names redacted):

Contact Form Submitted

Name:  Irene


Comment: Would you like to set up an interview in May? Dates open as of now are May 16 or 23

Hi Irene,

I’d be happy to do an interview. Either date is fine.

Please note though, that I’m a full-time nomad. I live in a van and drift around the country rather aimlessly. I never know where I’ll be next week. I get online via Verizon’s 4G network on a MiFi device, but have never done a video chat using it. I’ll try to test it out with a friend, but do you allow phone-in interviews also? I do a lot of photography too (ie: ), so you could do a slide show of my images if the video doesn’t work. 🙂

Wayne (Wirs)

Hi Wayne

It sounds like the technical set up would be very difficult and we do video only over Skype. So unless you could find a location where you could use someone’s wired internet connection than I don’t think it will work.

Thanks for considering it!

Buddha at the Gas Pump

Hi Irene,

I haven’t had the chance to test Skype over 4G, but it sounds like you’re opting out. After what some of my readers were saying about the idea ( ) I was starting to get a little psyched! (I’m all about transparency, so much so that I keep an online personal journal).

Just so you know, besides all my other odd quirks (About Me), I believe I am the only person who was keeping a personal, online blog before, during, and after his awakening. The whole process can be stepped through here – – and all started when I tried to out-meditate a frog in a brook on Mt. Hood in Oregon.

Still, if the interview sounds like more trouble than it’s worth, don’t sweat it. I’m all about flowing with Life, not manipulating it, so I’m good either way.

Be well,

Wayne (Wirs)

Lessons From The Past

Working In A Coffee Shop

Working In A Coffee Shop

MELBOURNE, FL — #LivingIt #Surrender

February 28, 2015 9:59 AM

After looking in on Mom to see how her second bionic eye is doing after her cataract surgery (“Good”), I drove to find a place to get some writing done. On the way, I spotted a woman awkwardly riding a bike too short for her height, and seeing her struggling with it, it reminded me of the time I rode across the town of Eugene, OR on a miserable folding bicycle during the stressful and miserable Trials of the Big Black Box Truck of 2010. What a nightmare I was living back then! It’s amazing how much easier my life has become since I’ve made Surrender my primary directive—to cease trying, to cease resisting, and to just flow with Life. Why did it take me so long to learn this?

Speaking of Life-lining-up-when-you-surrender, I saw an article today which states that after their brutal, record breaking Winter, the Northeast should be blessed with a warmer than normal Spring. Perfect! Just in time for my travels. I’m a very lucky man.

Peter from Melbourne Australia suggested that before I hit the road again, that I drop in on Swami Abhayananda who may be living here in Florida (though I saw elsewhere that he may be living in Washington state). In researching his background, I found some books of his that look quite interesting. This gives me even more stuff to read! I swear I’ve got at least a dozen books that I’m either in the middle of or have queued up in my Kindle-hopper.

I believe I will try to contact him. In an all-day review of his works yesterday, he comes across as quite transparent about his former life, some of which was quite controversial. (At great personal cost, he “outed” his abusive guru.).

I’m always interested in talking to Mystics who—as Abhayananda obviously does—walk the talk.