May 30, 2015 10:38 AM
“I dunno..,” I said uncertainly, hunched over and wiping the tears from my eyes.
“That” was the collective pain of all the women of the world who have ever been objectified. “That” was what Michelle called, me accessing the Collective Consciousness.
It’s an absolutely wonderful experience… and it sucks horribly.
I first “accessed” the pain of the Collective Consciousness (it’s completely beyond my control) during my Dark Night of the Soul.
I consider my Dark Night important for a few reasons:
- It marked the collapse and end of my identity as a person
- With the ego collapsed, it dumped most (all?) of my shadow material since there was nothing left to hold it in
- It marked the emergence of the duplex personality (I described it in the post as the higher, watching “I”, but back then I didn’t know anything about duplex personalities)
- It marked my first experience with the pain of the Collective Consciousness (the feeling of rejection by the mother that practically all infants experience: “…being PUSHED from the womb, being PUSHED from the breast,…“)
My next experience with this collective emotional pain was on the tenth anniversary of 9/11. I described it here, but the key point I want to make is the last line:
The less there is of you, the more there is of Her—which also means that when She hurts, you hurt.
We’re all threads of the Divine’s tapestry—of God’s tapestry. She feels your pain.
The same wonderful, sucky, beautiful and heartwretchingly painful thing happened when Michelle and I talked about women being objectified. One moment we were sitting under a pavilion in a park talking about the objectification of women (a subject I’d probably never even given more than two seconds of thought to) and the next moment I’m hit with wave after wave of overwhelming heartbreak and emotional pain and inner conflict that women experience while trying to balance beauty and meaning and respect and wanting to be desired but not wanting to be objectified and I’m hit with such a sudden and clear understanding and I’m so happy for this gift and tears are pouring from my face in anguish and I’m laughing with gratitude and it sucks and it’s wonderful and as I’ve said before, I hope it never happens again.
Anyway, it would have been cool if that happened during the Batgap interview, and there was one point where I almost mentioned it to Rick but I didn’t (thank God/God damn it (yeah, I’m still conflicted)), because it would have stimulated the emotional-pain-joyous-gratitude (I’m teary-eyed right now) and that would have been cool, but it would have sucked too.
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